Take Responsibility. Really!
As someone who’s always been eager to help, I used to find myself constantly trying to fix the problems of the people in my life. Whenever a friend, family member, or colleague would come to me with an issue, my natural instinct was to jump in and offer a solution.
My response always would be, “Your boss is being so unreasonable; let me talk to them.” “Your partner is misbehaving? I can talk to them.” “The cost of living is spiralling out of control — here are some budgeting tips.”
I thought I was doing the right thing by taking on their burdens. But over time, I realised that this approach was actually disempowering the very people I cared about. Each time I realised I swoop in to fix their problems, I was inadvertently reinforcing the idea that they couldn’t handle things on their own.
It was difficult realisation, but it inspired me to rethink my approach. Instead of immediately trying to solve everyone else’s issues, I started encouraging them to take responsibility for their own lives. When a loved one would come to me with a concern, I’d ask, “What do you think you can do about this?” or “How would you like to approach this situation?”
At first, this was met with some resistance. This is because people are so used to blaming others or circumstances for their plights. But if you truly desire a lasting change, you must learn to explore your own solutions rather than just blaming people and past experiences or letting someone else step in and handle it.
This approach had a transformative effect. When you step up to tackle your challenges head-on, you’ll blossom with a newfound sense of empowerment. You won’t just solve the immediate problem; you’ll also develop the confidence and resilience to tackle future obstacles as well.
Of course, there are still times when a listening ear or a supportive suggestion is exactly what someone needs. But I’ve learnt to strike a delicate balance, empowering others while also providing compassionate assistance when appropriate.
The true gift is seeing the people I care about step into their own power. And that, to me, is the highest form of support I can offer.
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