The Curious Case of the Serial Caller
Let me tell you about one of the strangest and funniest experiences I had last year. It started one random night when I missed five calls from an unknown number. Five! At 11pm! Who even does that? I woke up the next morning, unaware of the drama waiting for me, and went about my day without a thought of calling back.
But then the number rang again. This time, I picked up.
What followed was a conversation so baffling it could have been a comedy skit.
After I said, “Hello,” a cheery female voice asked, “Hi, good morning. Please, may I know who you are?”
Wait. What?
She called me—five times the previous night, and now again in the morning—and she doesn’t even know who I am? My brain short-circuited for a moment.
I managed to ask how she got my number, and her explanation was as suspicious as it was absurd. “Oh, I was just scrolling through my contacts last night and saw your number,” she said. Because that’s a totally normal thing people do at midnight, right? Okay o.
Before I could process the oddity, the calls became a pattern. Morning, noon, night, even the sacred wee hours when humans should be sleeping or contemplating life in peace. She also started sending messages about how she “desires to know me,” “wants to be friends,” and other blah-blah-blahs that sounded more like a pitch from a stalker’s handbook.
At first, I ignored it. But one night, curiosity got the better of me. I decided to hear her out, mostly to understand if I was dealing with an overly enthusiastic admirer or the star of a potential Netflix true-crime docuseries.
She was excited—very excited. She talked about her life, her job, her family, her passions. She literally told me everything about herself. And then, just as she was hitting her stride, she asked the million-dollar question: “Are you in a committed relationship?”
I said, “Yes! With an amazing woman!”
Dead silence.
The excitement in her voice evaporated faster than my MTN data subscription. The call ended abruptly. She ended the call.
For a while, she went quiet. I thought, Ah, peace at last. But no. She returned, calling and texting from different numbers after I blocked the first one. At that point, it was giving harassment vibes. So I blocked her again.
Later, I shared the story with my partner, and we both had a good laugh. She said, “Well, at least you know you’re still in high demand!” Lol. Never knew I was a commodity.
It's funny how life throws us all sorts of characters. While some are worth keeping around, others—like this serial caller—are better left behind with the block button.
The lesson? Boundaries are golden. Enforce 'em. Also, don’t let random, incessant midnight calls mess with your peace.
— Jaachị Anyatọnwụ
